“OKLAHOMA CITY (January 7, 2010) – Working to reduce Oklahoma’s high divorce rate, state Rep. Sally Kern has filed legislation to refine state law to encourage married couples with children to work through their problems.”
Read more here.
You are currently browsing the archive for the Marriage category.
National religious leaders release historic declaration of conscience
The Manhattan Declaration was released on Nov. 20, 2009, and was signed by 152 prominent religious leaders of our time. The document gives a very clear message to Christians on three fundamental truths that have been challenged in today’s society.
These truths are the sanctity of life, the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife, and the rights of conscience and religious liberty.
Those of you who visit the Pilgrim’s Progress site know all three of these truths are valued by the editors, and we do our best to preserve them by reporting and offering commentary on relevant issues to life, marriage and religious liberty.
After reading through the Manhattan Declaration, I have decided to feature some of the passages I found insightful. I plan to do this in segments with this blog entry focusing on passages from the Preamble and sections of the Declaration that uphold Life:
From the Economist.com
Which Americans have been married most?
FOR almost half of America’s brides and grooms, wedded bliss eventually turns to divorce misery. But many go on to marry again (and then again) in the search for the perfect mate. According to Census Bureau data gathered for the first time in 2008, the keenest on remarriage are those in Arkansas and Oklahoma, where over 10% of women who have ever been married have been hitched at least three times. The proportion of men (of those ever married) who go on to have at least three weddings is lower: 9.7% in Arkansas and 9.3% in Oklahoma. Southern and western states have the highest shares of those who are thrice (or more often) married, partly because of younger median marrying ages, more poverty and poorer education. New Jersey and Massachussets have the smallest shares for both women and men.
Read the rest here.
“The family is where parents and children learn to love sacrificially, to put others’ needs before their own desires, to sacrifice for the welfare and protection of the whole. If this does not begin with one’s own home and loved ones, it does not begin at all.
-Stephen Baskerville, in “Married to the State,” a must read column in The American Conservative
Sometimes you need a little history to put our modern social problems into perspective. It’s helpful to know that no-fault divorce was pioneered by the Bolsheviks right after the Russian revolution of 1917. Generally not people we want to emulate.
At the very least, we should follow the nuclear submarine method of divorce in New York, in which both parties must turn their keys (i.e. agree) before a no-fault divorce can be granted. After all, shouldn’t it take as many people to get out as it took to get in?
The February issue of Journal of Family Psychology is claiming couples who live together prior to marriage are making an unwise decision.
“Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships,” said lead researcher Galena Rhoades of the University of Denver. “Perhaps if a person is feeling a need to test the relationship, he or she already knows some important information about how a relationship may go over time.”
The study does not give a direct support toward waiting until marriage to cohabitate, but its results do give couples some encouragement to wait. For this, the study is applauded.
“And so two more American families discover a truth as old as marriage: a lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world — or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children.”
-A recent TIME magazine article on marriage, Gov. Sanford and Congressman Ensign
Hat tip: JR
Jenny Sanford released a statement to the media today, regarding her husband South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s public admittance to an affair.
There are some great words and phrases used in her remarks — forgiveness, reconciliation, repentance, institutions of marriage and family. I don’t know Mrs. Sanford, but I admire what she had to say.
“Forgiveness opens the door for Mark to begin to work privately, humbly and respectfully toward reconciliation with me. However, to achieve true reconciliation will take time, involve repentance, and will not be easy,” she said.
There is great truth and wisdom in her statement. She is correct that his actions were a violation of trust and a disgrace to the sanctity of marriage. She also is gracious and wise to recognize that saving their marriage is a process that will take time, but it is not beyond restoration.
I also appreciate Mrs. Sanford’s awareness of the need to privately restore their marriage. I only wish a certain reality TV couple would have been aware of this need.
For better and worse, I’m always trying to read the subtle messages movies send, especially to children. Here’s a great line from a movie I’ve never seen called The Last Days of Disco, criticizing Lady and the Tramp:
“[Tramp's] he’s a self-confessed chicken thief, and all-around sleazeball. What’s the function of a film of this kind? Essentially as a primer on love and marriage directed at very young people, imprinting on their little psyches the idea that smooth-talking delinquents recently escaped from the local pound are a good match for nice girls from sheltered homes. When in ten years the icky human version of Tramp shows up around the house, their hormones will be racing and no one will understand why. Films like this program women to adore jerks.”
Over the top commentary? Yes. But think about it: “Lady” really should have accepted “Jock’s” [pictured left] marriage proposal. He would have made a way better husband and father.
Hat tip: JR
Last year, I posted a blog about the show Jon & Kate Plus 8. Like many who are up on Jon and Kate’s recent marital problem, I do feel for the Gosselins, including their twins and sextuplets.
What I believe to be the best thing for the reality TV couple to do is cancel the show. Many will disagree with me or give a negative response, knowing they won’t cancel, especially after the recent season premiere scored a rating of 10 million viewers. That would be all the more reason for this media mayhem to end. There is too much attention and not enough support to help them heal and restore their marriage. That can only happen in private.
I know this won’t happen overnight. It would be a long process to get out of public viewing, but it can start if they will allow it.
Lynn Roush also gives a solid Christian perspective about the Gosselins, their show and healing their marriage.
The Washington Post has an interesting new piece that makes “the emotional, biological and economic case for marrying young.” Read it here.
HT: JR
Controversy arose after the Miss USA Pageant on Sunday. Apparently a professing gay judge asked Carrie Prejean, Miss California her view of gay marriage. Her response was the following:
“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”
Both co-directors of the pageant responded differently. One was “saddened.” The other fully supported Prejean’s response. Read the rest of this entry »
Christ has died.
Christ has risen.
Christ will come again.
Here’s wishing you all a good Good Friday and a meaningful, Happy Easter!
Interesting article on National Review Online today. It begins:
“For the first time since Jimmy Carter ran for the White House in 1976, large numbers of evangelical and Catholic voters pulled the Democratic lever in a presidential election. Last week, Pres. Barack Obama decided to reverse a policy that prohibits U.S. tax dollars from funding abortion providers overseas.”
“How to square the two? Some younger Christians probably saw it coming: Obama’s campaign emphasized social-justice issues like overcoming racism, combating poverty, and tackling global issues like AIDS, and for them, this agenda trumped abortion. For others, however, the new policy is a betrayal: While courting the evangelical and Catholic vote on the campaign trail, Obama also promised to reduce the number of abortions.”
Though I chose to start out neutral and/or favorable to him, this one major policy switch (and the disloyalty to his campaign rhetoric it represents) is why I cannot in good conscience approve of the job Obama is doing. Read more of the piece here.
Touchstone magazine has a must-read column on the devastating effects of divorce, covering it from numerous angles you do not normally see. It begins:
The decline of the family has now reached critical and truly dangerous proportions. Family breakdown touches virtually every family and every American. It is not only the major source of social instability in the Western world today but also seriously threatens civic freedom and constitutional government.
G. K. Chesterton once observed that the family serves as the principal check on government power, and he suggested that someday the family and the state would confront one another. That day has arrived.
Read the rest here.
From World Magazine’s blog:
“Beliefnet recently interviewed Rick Warren and asked, among other things, if gay marriage or divorce was a bigger threat to the family. Warren, who supported Proposition 8, said it was a no-brainer: ‘Divorce. There’s no doubt about it.’”
This may surprise some of our readership, but I think Warren is absolutely right.
A bizarre AP story shows that some “divorcees share houses divided amid foreclosure fears.” The story tells of a “Denver couple [who] divorced after six years of marriage but have been forced to live together for months because they can’t sell their place or afford to set up separate households in this slumping economy.”
Setting aside moral and spiritual implications, wouldn’t it have been easier to stay together and work things out? Read the rest here.
The Family Research Council thinks so.
A new analysis says, “The traditional, historic, and natural definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman was a winner on Election Day, despite the simultaneous victories for Democrats in capturing the White House and expanding their majority in Congress.”
Read the rest here.
Over at Public Discourse: Ethics, Law, and the Common Good, President of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and President of the National Organization for Marriage, has an excellent article titled, Marriage Matters: For Kids, for Parents, and for Religious Liberty. If you are one of the ones wondering what the fuss is all about, this article should give you a very nice introduction to the issue, which goes well beyond “fairness.” Some highlights:
- Marriage between a man and a woman is rooted in our nature–”in biology, not bigotry”–sex between men and women makes babies, society needs babies, and babies need a father as well as a mother. But the proponents of same-sex marriage want the government to declare in law that there is no difference between same-sex and opposite-sex unions, and anyone who thinks otherwise is promoting bigotry. This will have major ramifications for those who believe in marriage in the traditional sense–especially religious citizens and organizations.
- Equality, especially racial equality, trumps religious liberty in our constitutional scheme. Indeed just a few weeks after declaring that same-sex marriage is a constitutional right (because sexual orientation is a protected class just like race), the California Supreme Court explicitly affirmed that the government has the right and obligation to punish a Christian doctor who refused to perform the insemination procedure on a lesbian couple. Treating two women in a union any differently than a husband and wife is now the same as discriminating on the basis of race under California law–and it is a well-established principle of law that religious beliefs do not give an individual or an institution a right to violate norms of racial equality.
- Everyone acknowledged that a union of a black man to a white woman could be a marriage–which is why these unions had to be banned to maintain a racial classification system in the law. Calling same-sex unions ”marriages,” by contrast, requires the law to redefine the very meaning of the word, and to strip marriage as a public, legal status of its ancient, honorable, and distinctive relationship to responsible procreation.
You should read the whole article to see how this attempt at redefining marriage will affect you, your family and your church. It won’t be pretty.
For many Americans, divorce is the easy way out. If your marriage is hard, just end it and move on. Often missed in the shuffle of pushing the Easy Button is the long term tolls divorce takes on both partners, and especially on any kids that may be involved. While these issues are well known, if not often ignored, a recent study shows an interesting data point: an immense financial burden on the public. A recent report shows that divorce and out-of-wedlock child birth has cost the American taxpayers $112B. That’s with billion with a “B”. Perhaps this will drive lawmakers to take marriage (and Dan Quayle) more seriously. Family deterioration is something they like to give lip service to, but no real action, but massive amounts of money they can no longer spend on pointless bridges and monuments usually gets their attention.